This has been a long time coming.
I mean, let’s be honest, I still don’t know if this will take, regardless of the effort I’m putting in. It’s just the way things seem to go for me. I have an elite level skill for talking myself out of doing anything, especially when it directly benefits myself. I am really proud of the fact that I put other people’s needs and wishes above my own, so much so that it’s taken me until the age of 29 to really get my own life started. Helping out parents at home while taking care of elderly family has been one of the most rewarding yet difficult things I have ever done. But I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Every. Single. Time.
During this stretch, I have neglected myself to the point of obesity, mental strain, strong anxiety, and a lack of personal skills that most people my age have been honing for the better part of the last decade. Something had to give eventually, and about 3 months ago, it did. This year has been the one of change. My self-appointed role of caregiver has come to an end and I am now stepping foot into a world I am not totally familiar with.
I’m no shut-in, but I have actively avoided the outside world as much as possible. Was it because I hated talking to strangers? Could it be that I hated walking around feeling uncomfortable in my oversized body? Yes, to both, but I know that had to change, mainly because I wanted it to. I want a family. I want to have fun. I want to experience things that take place outside the walls of my home.
SO how does one go about that? Well, you know the old adage “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”?
It’s broke, so I’m going to fix it.
Step 1: Lose weight and don’t die.